We may have had to cut our year of travel as a family short, but we certainly covered a fair few countries and ‘travelled’ to a lot of places together.  Now that we’re home we’re asking ourselves that golden question – was it all worth it? 

Was it all worth it, this ‘travel as a family’ thing?

Seven months of travel as a family has cost us a whole heap of money, we’re now unemployed and have to adjust back into a normal life (someday when coronavirus has left us all alone).  Apart from coronavirus, the other things were expected.  But did we gain anything from it? 

Loads of great experiences and stories obviously, and some photos we can look back on when we’re old.  But what about those more intangible changes?  Did we ‘find ourselves?’  Have life’s troubles become meaningless because we found peace with the world?

Time for some deep and introspective thinking…

What did the kids get out of our family travels?

Let’s start with the easier ones.  Let’s ask the kids…

Aiden: -‘Nothing!’  I rejected that answer as needing more thought. ‘I didn’t know Vietnam was a country.  Or Myanmar.’

Evie: ‘Um.  Experience.  I learnt about the world and different countries’.

OK, so they aren’t particularly aware of any major changes other than that their geography knowledge has improved (we know they learnt a lot more than this).  I do know that we did achieve one of our aims which was to help Evie find some confidence.  Before we left she wouldn’t even go up to a store owner and buy something.  Now she skips up to people in shops with questions and volunteers to be the one to go up.  Definite win!

Aiden’s the same crazy kid he always was.  No change there!

One thing that has been nice (after reading various posts about people’s children struggling with the changes to routine and their parents’ stresses) is realising how resilient and adaptable our children are.  Changes, odd situations and the unknown they take in their stride now (although it wasn’t that much of an issue for these two before).   These are two traits I’m desperate for our kids to have so that’s a big parenting life goals tick 😊.  I also think they trust us more to make the right decisions, they even say this.  Perhaps that’s from being so close to our decision making processes every day and us dealing with various issues on the road?

Have our adventures traveling as a family had any impacts on Chris?

Chris also achieved his goal of talking to more random people and was getting pretty good at it!  I’m used to being the one to answer any questions a random throws at us, but sometimes he beats me to it now!

Other than that he’d say a change in perspective.  We stayed in a one bed flat before heading out to travel.  Coming from our rather nice and very spacious house, it seemed pokey and we were not impressed, but it was good training.  We’ve returned to that flat again now as the house is rented out still, and suddenly it’s really not that bad.  We’re living in a very small space right now, in isolation, with limited outdoor opportunities and it’s actually totally fine.  Chris has downgraded his size requirements for our next home (in the country 😊) as we just don’t feel that it’s necessary now. 

What about me (Sarah)? 

I do feel changed after travelling long term as a family.  I think I have more patience.  You have to when transport rarely runs to time and no one else cares about timeliness.  I think I’m less stressed by the little things.  Everything out in SE Asia is no drama (most things anyway) especially in Laos.  When we left there I felt almost horizontal on a stress level – that is a life first for me! 

Coupled with that, I’m less time oriented.  I used to live my life by the minute, constantly checking my watch.  Now I don’t even wear one!  If a bus is late, it’s no bother.  That’s a major change to my old attitude – waiting around used to be a big source of stress!

I also feel like I know my children better – you could say I found them instead of me haha!  As Evie is almost 10 I think this may be one of the best things that come out of this, if we can stay close through the pre teens maybe the teenage years will just be awful rather than totally unbearable?

My planning style has changed.  I am definitely more able to ‘wing it’.  Before we came out the thought of not having a plan for each country with a budget seemed impossible.  Towards the end, we were changing up the countries and the planning was on a much higher and more relaxed level.  Not having a plan now seems like an option rather than madness.  Having a plan, certainly an inflexible one, seems like shackles.

In fact, we have been able to come back to this crazy coronavirus world, with no jobs, nowhere to live, no idea of when or if we’ll manage to travel as a family again, unable to sell our house until some time frame that no one knows.  This would have had me majorly stressed before we went.  Now I’m totally ok with it.  I’ll plan it when we have a better idea of times.  Until then it’s one day at a time.  Anyone who knows me will know that’s a major change in attitude!

It also took me a while (like 5 months), but I’m finally starting to get that money isn’t everything (that’s pretty hard for an ex accountant!).  The experiences we had whilst travelling are more important than a few pounds here and there.  Chris has been telling me this all along, but the tight pressure of the budget and keeping below it soured some experiences and I regret that now.  It took me to Vietnam to relax a little and consider the experience more important than the cost.  What good is spending all this money going around the world if we didn’t really enjoy it?  This was meant to be the experience of a lifetime after all!

Did I find myself?  Not really sure what that means!  But this has all confirmed that England is the country for me, I appreciate the ‘rolling hills’, temperate weather, lack of natural disasters and the hugely wide range of foods.  I love food!  We are so lucky to live where we do and we can truly appreciate that now.  I also know that a river, trees or a mountain can lift my spirits, whereas a city or town feels oppressive to me.  They are where I need to be. 

Anything else?  As a young person I was super shy.  I’m pretty confident now, but now I have less fear of ‘the world’.  Many people said we were brave to travel as a family like we did, like we were going off into risky places and I guess that is how I also felt to some extent.  It was so unknown.  Now I know it’s just more people, living their lives the best they can, and I think I actually felt safer in these other countries than in England!  Doors are left open, bikes on the side, shops closed with a strip of fabric, there is so little aggression, no road rage.  It helps that a lot of SE Asia are Buddhist I suppose.  We had it wrong when we tried to imagine what things would be like out there.

From growing up in a pretty sheltered way, only exposed to English teachings and news I now realise I had a very narrow view of the world and a cultural view of what is important in life.  Other countries put value on things differently and work to different goals. 

Will all these things remain with us once we integrate back into ‘normal’?  I hope so!  I am a better, stronger person after taking the time to travel as a family, and I want to stay that way.  And I feel like I got what I wanted out of this trip, which was to understand more about how the world works beyond England; what it’s like to actually live in other countries.  The children are resourceful, adaptable and resilient. Hopefully some of what they’ve seen will let them keep things in perspective as they go through their teenage years.  Only time will tell I guess…